Thursday, January 26, 2012

Getting the words just right

Sort of continuing with my last post... I have found that with divorced parents you have to think about certain things differently. Or maybe just with super sensitive divorced parents. We had to keep this in mind when choosing the wording of our invitations. We found our invitations from a seller on Etsy and were super excited to get the process going. We loved the style and design of the invitations, but we thought we would probably need to make some changes to the wording. The way the sample was worded is like this:

Together with their parents
Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents
&
Mr. And Mrs. Grooms parents
Sharon and Jeff
Invite you to join them as they unite in marriage
Date time
Location
Address
Diner, Dancing and a lifetime of happiness to follow

This wording looks really good with the over all design of the invitation. I wish I could show you... but I want to keep it a secret for now. There were a couple problems with this wording. First, it implies both set of parents are hosting the wedding, which is not the case in our wedding celebration. Since my Dad is the one hosting I asked his opinion and didn't really have a strong feeling about it. He definitely leans towards being more traditional about things but says it's our decision in the end. I felt that it should be clear in our invitation that he is hosting. We are so thankful to him and we want to give him all the credit he deserves!

My other issue was how to word the invitations with my divorced parents. My Mom is no longer a Mrs. so I decided to do some research. I know we are not the first people to have this question and indeed there is a lot of information out there about it. Martha Stewart says this about divorced parents, "Names are listed on a separate line, and Mom comes first." Well that doesn't work with our invitation design, their names have to be on the same line. And I also feel that my Dad's name should come first since he is the one hosting the affair. Sorry Martha. I looked further and found some other information saying divorced parents can be listed together separated by an "&" and the brides mother becomes a Ms. instead of a Mrs. That sounded good to me.  So here is what we decided on.

With Joyous Hearts
Mr. Brides Dad & Ms. Brides Mom
Invite you to the wedding of their daughter
Sharon Last Name to Jeff Last Name
Son of Mr. & Mrs Grooms parents
Date, Time
Location
Address
Diner, Dancing and a lifetime of happiness to follow

I thought this was a pretty great compromise. We got the sample pdf from our designer and it looked great. We approved it and moved on with our lives. Until my Mom saw them and got a little upset...

She didn't like being a "Ms." When I asked, well what should I have put? She said she would have rather left out the Mr. and Ms. all together. I told her that etiquette and the formality of the event require the Mr. & Ms. She eventually realized she over reacted and said it was fine later that same day. It's one of those things that while I don't want to upset my Mom or hurt her feelings, this is how we want it to be. We spent a great deal of time researching things and going back and forth deciding what would be best for ourselves and our parents. Thankfully she got over it fast. I think in her mind it was another reminder of the fact that she is divorced and separate from my Dad.

Even with that hiccup, I am really excited about our invitations. I think they look beautiful and the wording we chose were the right way to go. Once more rsvps come in I can show you how awesome they are!

How did you word your invitations? Did you go with traditional wording or non traditional?

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